Friday, March 14, 2014

Clash of the funeral and wedding

Who don't love weddings? Detailed preparation is made prior to a wedding. A wedding is coming this Sunday and everyone of us is ready to take part in the ceremony. 

But suddenly there is a bad news. A close relative passed away just two days ago and many were hesitating to attend the wake and the funeral. Majority of them would prefer to attend the wedding. Why?

Because according to the parents of the bride and the groom, those who attended the funeral are not allowed to join the wedding ceremony. Because of this, my husband with her sister and BIL opted out and attended the funeral yesterday.

Therefore, my husband and I won't be attending the wedding together. I will take my girl, my boy and my mum with me for the wedding.

17 comments:

  1. Is it a close relative's wedding too? Then it is difficult to choose which to attend. If it is only a friend's wedding or a friend's funeral, then I guess it depends on who is closer. If it is my wedding, I don't mind people who just attended a funeral attending my wedding too.

    But for some people, even if you did not attend the funeral but the funeral is for a relative, then the person also is barred from attending the wedding. Just depends on what they believe in.

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  2. Ethical for both of you.. boss attend funeral and you go for wedding.. such coincidence..

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  3. If that's a close relative on both sides, then it's hard to choose.. But somehow, I will makesure some members in the family will be able to join both sides, if they pantang la.. Like maybe hubby attends the wake, the rest attend the wedding.. But if no pantang, then can attend both the wake and wedding?

    Just to share. My grandma passed away one week before my wedding.. But my wedding still went on.

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  4. Sorry to hear that...some times...things are so unpredictable.....!!! =[

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  5. So sorry to hear about the demise. And it is very ethical of you to attend the wedding.

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  6. Good morning Wenn...

    That time when my grandfather passed away , my cousin wedding proceed as usual...

    If not wrong, there's a saying that if there's a passing away in the family, during CNY, we are not allowed to do visitation and give ang pao for 3 years, but my family not pantang, we still gathering at my Uncle's place and my relatives give ang pao as usual...

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  7. sorry to hear about the departure of a close relative of yours.. RIP

    at least you and your hubby made plans to attend both the wedding and funeral respectively.. but then we cannot control what other friends and relatives decided to do right??

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  8. Yes, its the Chinese belief, better don't mix both of the occasion, it's for everyone's good.

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    1. It's sad cannot attend the wedding dinner together, but what to do? Sometimes this kinda incident is unexpected....

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    2. Hope you enjoy the wedding dinner!

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  9. Chinese do have thousands and one taboos. I'm not very familiar with all those taboos and always have to ask the elder in the house.

    I love weddings too because of good food to eat. LOL.

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  10. yea i heard something about this too. Black and white occassion cannot mix.

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  11. I am glad that you followed the beliefs accordingly as they are all real matters not be taken lightly. When we all follow the traditions and beliefs, we are not being superstitious but respectful to adhere to the "unseen" rules of the spiritual and universe.

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  12. My cousin who is a Christian married his wife without choosing the auspicious dates at all and his father fell seriously sick right after the wedding & died. He was a very healthy old man who shocked everyone on his sudden passing. I checked the Chinese calendar later and was shocked that the wedding's date would result in death and bad luck. Instead of blaming themselves for being ignorant, they quietly blamed the bride for bringing bad luck into the family!! I could not say a word on this but took it as a lesson observed. That cousin has been having no ending of bad luck after getting married for over 10 years. Again I could not advise him as we have different religious faiths.

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